Good grief I haven't done this for years. (literally!)
I stumbled upon this blog at 2:30am on a Thursday when I was trying really hard not to sleep. I felt I had to reactivate a dead email address and just change it a little; bring it into 2014 and drag it out of 2011 (ew.)
My life has changed a bit since I last wrote here. Two years ago all my constants melted away and left me not knowing what the hell I was going to do with my life.
I'm still trying to figure that out; but my life is (slightly) more settled now again. And anyway I'm nearly there. In just a couple of months I'll be starting a life independent for the first time and it can't come soon enough.
I have recently started drinking peppermint tea and doing meditation once a week to help myself; but I'm getting there which is great because I can feel better about myself. The dark clouds still try to assimilate occasionally (usually at night at around this time) but by talking to myself; and saying that it will be not just okay; but good or even great.
Having said that; it's not all sunshine and roses now; one of my biggest problems has been finding the motivation to work at home since we moved. I can do absolutely everything apart from work here. but as soon as I'm out of the house I can work again. It doesn't matter how many books I surround myself with or how far away I put my electronics; and I love my electricals; i just stare off into space; for hours. It's so frustrating as I don't know how to deal with it; and that's the last thing that is really holding me back.
But I'll get there; and more importantly I'll get out. Into the big wide world down which ever route I tread.
P.S. Hasn't this season (21st) of Top Gear just been the most awesome ever?
P.P.S I wonder whether they will cover the fact that de facto the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport is no longer the fastest car in the world; it's crown has been taken by the Hennessey Venom GT; but this has yet to be Guinness Record confirmed. But exciting!
P.P.P.S So many extra things to say; but that need to be said; my novel is getting closer to completion. Although I've been saying it will be finished soon since I made my first post here; I seriously underestimated the scale of work needed to be done as I got older; however things are coming together now and I aim to keep the momentum going and finish this baby once and for all.
I shall now say good night :)
Belle <3 x
